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i’ll take the really long fingers please

September 14, 2012

Three dancers standing on a corner, and no, this is not the beginning of a joke.

Three dancers standing on a corner discussing the movements and skills we admire in our belly dancer friends inevitably turns into a conversation about which body parts we’d like to severe and use to replace our own not quite as good bits.  This look could work, right?

I hope so, since it may be my own clumsiness that leads to this and not my desire for flow-y dance fingers.

 

Seriously, my brother has tried to enrol me in beginner walking classes due to my butt’s ability to find the fastest and least graceful way of making contact with the ground. There’s also the random bruises that appear on my body for no inexplicable reason because klutziness will find me even without my knowledge. Maybe I’ve become desensitized over the years and no longer notice when I have injured myself, or it could be the result of pixies and their pinch-y ways.  Most likely it’s the pixies.

Sometimes I will take precautions to ensure my safety – mostly because I don’t want to listen to another lecture about my carelessness from Peter, but tonight I think I proved why I am better when I don’t try to make things better.

While practising, I made an attempt to keep myself safe by clearing the dance floor of veils so I wouldn’t inadvertently step on them, spin out of control and smash my head into the mirrored wall causing severe brain trauma which probably wouldn’t even have mattered as I’d have already died from loss of blood from all the broken mirror bits embedded in my flesh.

Clearly I’m writing this and didn’t die in a highly reflective bloodbath, what did happen is that while clearing out the veils I got my toe stuck in the bottom of my pant leg and tried to remove said toe from my foot.  Now my toe is all sore and swollen and while I may not be dead, I’m totally blaming Peter if it needs to be amputated. As my toe has no special skills and is now also dead, no one else is going to want it and that seems like a complete waste of a severed body part.

So, I think what we have learned here is that no matter how it happens, my parts are going to be of no use to any of my friends and I have let everyone down. Total friend fail.

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