i’m not even cool as a pirate

Still being International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought it would be appropriate to discover what my pirate persona would be.

Result number one:

Arrrr, you were born to sail the high seas and fly the Jolly Roger. Unfortunately you don’t have a ship, crew, cannons, or even a parrot, so you sit in the bathtub and wash your boobies over and over whilst screaming “Surrender or die, surrender or die!”

Not being entirely pleased with this and hoping for something a little further from reality I decided to give it a second go:

Shiver me timbers, you’re known as “The Piratess Who Couldn’t Pour Piss Out Of A Boot With The Instructions On The Heel.”  In other words, you’re completely incompetent and would have been better off as a gardener, or interior decorator.

WTF!  It’s like they actually know me.

And by the way, who the hell has been spying on me in the bath?????