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a goldfish on dry land would appear more threatening, that is before it died. well no, perhaps even then

September 27, 2012

I really don’t have much time for a post today as I have about sixty gazillion photographs to sort, but as I was going through them I came across an anomaly: Xander showed up in a photograph.

As you can see, I am not referring to Nicolas Brendon.  Although, oddly enough,  I have a lot of photos in which he is not visible either.

I swear this is like getting a photo of a sasquatch or the loch ness monster. In fact, those would probably be easier.

Our Xander is clearly feline and has yet to earn either fame or fortune starring in a tv show.  Really, it’s about time he did earn his keep, after all, he’s been with us for nine years now and looking adorable should only get you so far.  Though if he did become a successful television star, he could probably afford all the his desires and wouldn’t need me anymore as there would be adoring fans with laps available at all times and he could hire staff to do his shopping and such.  He probably wouldn’t even let us in to see him or only allow us supervised visits so that we can’t make him do zombie kitty anymore.  (For any cat agents out there, our cats are all very well-trained in zombie kitty.  I don’t know how often you may have need for this and, ok, we may have to be there to hold them in the proper position and to make them move and mumble “brains” in kitty voices, but I promise they have the perfect expression  – one of horror and resignation.) 

I realize now I am going to have to be very clear about his contract details.

Of course, the fact that it is next to impossible to get him to show up on film could create a teeny problem.  I suppose we will just have to come up with another way to pimp out our kitties.  Oh well.

Our Xander and television Xander do share at least one similarity; they both have completely ineffectual fighting styles.  I don’t know why I say that with some sort of pride, but WTF, it was amusing on Buffy and is amusing in our home.

First off for our cat is getting into proper position.

That’s right, this is my look of terror. I will totally take you down bitches. I am threatening and menacing and all that, and you can’t even imagine a way to break my defenses.

Scary, no?

It gets even better as he rolls completely on his back basically offering up any area of vulnerability.  From there he will kick out his legs a few times, make a couple half-hearted swats at his opponent and then hiss.

I will kill you with my breath!
(Which is probably true)

That’s it.

Most of the time the other cats just sit beside him and look down in disbelief, knowing it’s beneath them to participate in such a display.

Though perhaps he’s on to something.  His weight is comparable to a small bag of feathers so maybe his appearance of fight starting is really just a preemptive defensive strategy???  Well played shadow kitty.  Well played.

****

And yes, I did just write about my cats.  I’d like to say it will never happen again, but that’s highly unlikely.

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