first i will take your tail

October 15, 2012

There’s nothing like a relaxing sunday morning… or at least that’s what I have heard.  Mine don’t usually seem so calm.  Yesterday morning, for example, began with the usual trek down the hall to put in my contacts.  I am super blind and can’t see my alarm clock without squinting and it’s less than a foot away from my face.

Contacts in, so far so good, only then I looked down and realized I was standing in cat pee.


Hadn’t felt it as it had almost dried, but there you go.  Anyhow, I cleaned the floor, cleaned my feet, put the bath mat in the wash and then decided I deserved to sit back for a few minutes and try out this lazy sunday morning thing when on the way to the sofa I stepped in cat vomit.

Two minutes after cleaning that up I stepped in a big wet glob of cat fur ball.

There’s only so much a girl can take before vengeance becomes her one and only thought.

I should have seen this coming

I have to wonder what exactly it is that I have done wrong?

Is this some kind of sicko kitty pay back for taking away their third not-really-a-litter-box litter box.

Well, I have decided that for every one of their evil shenanigans, a limb will be removed.  And this will continue until eventually they become mere lumps with heads; potato sack versions of cats; and then I will bring in all my friends and family, (well the ones that don’t like cats that is and who have no sympathy for sad, pathetic looking animals, and who don’t fall prey to giant my-life-is-so-hard puss in boots eyes) and we will all point and laugh and make merry at their expense.

“please help. she’s off her meds again”

“Really, I think this punishment is a little harsh and completely underserved.”

I seriously do love when the cats do their “I have no limbs!” pose.

Though, as cute as it is I really am back to wondering how it is that I am writing two posts in a row involving cat pee.  How has my life come to this?



One Response to “first i will take your tail”

  1. […] used to lie on my pillow and shut my eyes for me, not ever letting glasses get in her way to her ‘I have no limbs’ poses.  Her love of boxes, her ability to make and get into her own costumes, for all the […]

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