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i may as well have a gun to my head

October 26, 2012

The boy threatened me this morning just because I haven’t posted in a week.  He has said he won’t buy me anymore wine until I post something.  This is perhaps the single worst threat I could receive.  Well maybe threats of harm to my cats would be worse, those not made by me that is, but it’s really close.

I realize there are problems with this ultimatum as I can easily go buy wine for myself, but that would require getting properly dressed and actually leaving the house, so you can see where this is already going horribly wrong.  I really prefer when wine just walks itself into the house, usually by taking control of Peter’s mind and body (wine is very powerful you know… and very jedi like).

It’s only just occurred to me now that there were no specifics on length or topic of post so I suppose I could have typed only one or two random words, like apocolocynposis, and been done with it, but I’ve already put effort into that first bit (well, not really, but I can’t be bothered to erase it and start over) so I’m keeping it.

Apocolocynposis is the fear of turning into a pumpkin by the way.  Being close to halloween I thought it would be an appropriate word choice.  And, for the record, I did say fear of turning into a pumpkin, not a fear of pumpkins.  Kinda have to ask yourself who the first person to have this fear was and how exactly their brain took them in that direction.  While perhaps not a concern for everyone, I can understand the fear of turning into a zombie (there isn’t one, though fear of zombies is kinemortophobia) or vampire (sanguivoriphobia is the fear of vampires or blood eaters, but again, no fear of turning into one), but turning into a pumpkin… really??

Cinderella must have really messed some people up.

On a side note, while researching the phobias I did come across information on transforming yourself into a vampire.

The first one is my favourite, though I am not sure if it’s because someone was actually looking for chants to turn into a vampire or if it’s for the person who had the voted best answer:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090131040139AA4kfMY

To go directly to some spells, try this one:

http://ancientthoughts.com/magic/vampires.htm

Anyhow, I want wine, so I need to stop still being amazed at what I find online and take a moment to send the boy a link to this post.

Cheers… I hope?!

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