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it’s like a death in the family

November 19, 2012

Bluebeard is gone.  He’s stopped working; he’s cracked (and not is a fun, loopy, mental sort of way); he’s dead as a glue gun can be.

Yes.

Glue gun.

Bluebeard, so named for his blue colour and his desire to inflict harm, has been with me for many, many years.  We have had a very turbulent relationship, which only intensified after I once tried to replace him, but the new glue gun I bought was so pretty and sleek and clean that I couldn’t resist.  In the end, it couldn’t compare and Bluebeard resurfaced.  I promised I would never attempt to replace him again.

Despite this, I noticed an increase in injuries from this point on; he managed to inflict a fresh burn today before passing on and I am still haven’t recovering from my previous wound.  Fortunately for me, his lack of opposable thumbs, or any limbs at all, has kept him from wielding a sword, cutting off my head or hanging my dead remains from a hook in a hidden room.

It may have been the abuse these past two weeks while I have been preparing for a craft fair that proved too much.  He is rather elderly, greying around the edges and all, of course, that could just be the feathers I haven’t yet cleaned off.  It may have been that we were supposed to take a couple of days off to recover from this, but I decided to work on something for myself today, in which case, his demise may have been self-inflicted.

It may also be that all the extra energy expended in punishing me, injuring me, and torturing me, combined with the many layers of skin it has accumulated over the years (something the manufacturers, I imagine,  had never intended) finally got to be too much, but whatever the cause, only hours ago, he departed with a sudden random snapping sound.

There is also the possibility that I am simply insane, drunk, or spending far too much time writing this ridiculous post as a means of procrastination (I still have the other glue gun, but fear the level of resentment it may now be holding and what fresh new pain awaits me and so am too scared to actually plug it in), but I will leave that for you to decide.

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