and as i had earbuds in, my brain leaked out my nose

January 11, 2013

I think my iPod is trying to kill me.

This morning it tried to blow up my brain.

The fact that I may have forgotten to turn down the volume after having had it hooked up to my stereo might, just maybe a teeny little bit, have had something to do with it, but I don’t think so.

While this is the biggest, flashiest, most obvious attempt it has made to date, it is simply the most recent event. My iPod truly hates me and I am convinced she has been trying to take me down from the beginning.

Prior to this incident, she has simply worked on a more subtle level.

I am a big fan of shuffle and while I really ought to have learned not to use it by now, I can’t seem to stop.  It’s like some weird addiction and I have to see what ruby gloom (that’s iPod’s name) has chosen for me on any particular day and in any particular moment.

Problem is I think she knows that I suffer from depressive episodes and am easily influenced by the energies that surround me and then uses this against me.  Not wanting to be held accountable for my death, it has been choosing one depressing song after another in a bid to get me to take myself out.

Sometimes she will try to trick me by playing songs that musically sound somewhat upbeat and peppy, but I hear the depressing lyrics quite clearly and am no longer fooled by this.  I believe it is precisely this awareness that has forced ruby to go for more direct attacks.

It has been suggested that I simply change the music I have loaded on to the instrument of death, but the majority of songs on there do not send me running to the kitchen looking for the knife sharpener, but ruby, mysteriously, never seems to be able to find these options, Also, I think it’s been well established by now that I don’t find it necessary to take responsibility for myself when there is clearly someone (or something) else to blame.

With any luck I shall survive the next attack and be back to write again.

If not, I’ll miss you all. xoxo

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